Many years ago, I started to tell people and myself, “You are your own  definition.” A reference that is beginning to appear more across the Internet. I’d tell people that each day you wake, your definition begins. What exactly does this mean? It means you start to define with clarity who you are.

Each belief, feeling, thought, and action becomes your definition. Sure, you’ll have interactions and experiences with other people. But, you choose how to react, how to think, and how to feel about each one. You define yourself.

Every person has a story, and one story might appear more heroic than another. One story might appear more painful that another. The truth is our stories are our stories, and each story defines us based on us. You determine and define your personal worth. This is a lesson we learn many times, until we understand the lesson. 

Define Your Room

This holds true every moment of your life; a reminder to set your own expectations. The more you attempt to live up to the expectations of others, you’ll fail. You’ll fail, because you’re not living your truth. So, don’t expect to try and live up to them.

An undefined self is an empty room with many windows. You have plenty of space in the room, but everyone wants to tell you what it needs. Their expectations of you are only defined by you setting the expectations to be you. People will see you and begin to write their own definition based on what they value about you. 

This is their choice, and they hold equal responsibility in defining themselves. Self value is an individual and personal lifelong journey. With every interaction, we decide the value it has for ourselves. This is difficult to do at first, but you can choose to understand the value in negative experiences. Again, you and only you can decide the value. Setting the value in you begins with setting the expectations for you. Hold to your expectations, but don’t allow them to consume you. Learn to have love, peace, and balance with your expectations and you’re on your way to redefining you.